The Metz Family

I am trying to get over Bronchitis and a sinus cold I am guessing that started after taking the antibiotics for the bronchitis. I was up all night last night trying to be able to breath lol.. Trying to feel better for My hubby's Game later :( ...I also have a RE appointment next thursday for the ultra sound to make sure that my eggs are growing:) and she is going to let me know when i should ovulate and also if my body is responding to this new med. I am sure that it will :) considering I have been ovulating on my own the past couple months:)  Also I have almost watched all seasons of How I met your mother on Netflix lol ..haha nice right have literally no life...  Have a good weekend everyone :) ~Jessica~ xoxoxoxo

Today I had a follow up with my re :D .. I am ovulating on my own :D well for the past few months I have been ;) ... Also I am going to start a new pill to assist in ovulating an also we are doing monitored cycles :D super excited .... Things are looking good for us:D hoping for the best :) ~Jessica

I have to say that I thought I would have a hard day .. But I got through it well:D I appreciate all of you that were there in thought and in pray or thought :) I have found more closure lately, I still miss my daughter more then words and talk about her daily.. However I know she would want me to be happy :) Update with Re I have a appointment Friday for a follow up:) Also things seem to be regulating themselves :) mother nature came on her own last month :) I was so beyond happy ... I will update as soon as possible after Fridays appointment<3 Thank you all for your on going support ~ Jessica

So I am sitting here thinking that If Kloie was here We would be taking her to her first Easter Egg hunt, It makes me really sad:( I forgot how excited i was to take to to this easter egg hunt! I hate Holidays lately!! I try to forget them but its hard! I am just hoping that I find the Strength to get through this weekend. Tonight Me and the Hubby are going to Boondocks to have some fun with some Couple friends i think that its going to be really fun:) I am super excited! Get my mind off stuff for a bit! Anyhow  I got some Test results back from my RE and there all NORMAL:) My blood type is kinda weird though its not completely Negative but not a True Positive Either so I was still need Rohgam in Pregnancy! I am starting to wonder if this issue is why I had to early losses? I am really happy that i am seeing this Dr she has told me things that i never knew about myself and she Actually Explains them well to were i understand it!  I am hoping that we are Pregnant by the end of the year

So I have started My new Project with Work :) Its pretty nice I suppose, Its a lot of getting used to but really nice that i am in the same Training class as All my Hyundai Friends:), Kloies Birthday is Approaching at a Rapid Speed:( Its making me so sad, I don't know how I am going to handle that day! I will for sure take the day off I don't think that I would be able to work. My mother n law and I are going to get Kloie Memory Tattoos:) I am really Excited about it!:) I hope that i can make it through her birthday without completely losing my mind:(  We are still TTC its been a Challenge this time, its making me really disappointed But I have met a really great doctor and i feel that she will figure out what is wrong with me. I am hopeful that we will get pregnant within the year but who knows:) Anyways its been a while since i updated so I thought that I would update for you all! Tyler and I are doing well:) And hoping for Some financial Breaks here soon but besides that WE

Today I took a much needed Mental health day:D it was really nice i just Lounged around and did some laundry, My dogs were confused because there used to us being gone all week:D haha, it was nice to be able to spend some extra time with them today as well. As far as TTC goes I am to my WITS end with everything i feel like if we are not pregnant within this cycle i will TRY BUT NOT PREVENT METHOD and focus on my Weight loss. Considering its my Weight that has caused most of the Issues with getting pregnant itself. Any who i hope EVERYONE had a HAPPY HUMP DAY:D And are looking forward to the weekend:D xoxo ~Jessica~

I really Appreciate all the people that are following my Blog and being supportive, its Not easy dealing with Infant loss, miscarriage, and now having issues trying to get pregnant again. I would not wish this on my worst ENEMY its so hard to deal with day by day. I have finally gotten out of the stage of every time i smile its a "fake" smile and and starting to truly feel happy for everything that i have right now in my life, its just hard at times as you all can tell. I do appreciate all the kind words and support again like i have said the more support the better:D. I am really hoping for a good turn out this cycle but unfortunately for some reason i just don't have a good feeling about it maybe because we have tried so many cycles already. Hopefully in in a few weeks I have good news to give you all:D If not there are many more months to come and hope in the Future:D xoxo ~Jessica~

We had friends over tonight it was pretty fun, watched hubby's play Xbox while the girls hung out :) my god son was down so it made it a pretty great night :) I made a roast and potatoes and all:) Today all in all has been a pretty good day cleaned my entire upstairs which is really nice. Since I lost kloie I haven't really been up to doing much so it felt good doing that :).. Tomorrow I will tackle the downstairs I hope. So I am currently mid cycle with trying to get pregnant anyone ttc will know what I am talking about I'm on cd:13 still waiting to ovulate :/ hopefully this is are month and cycle :) Goodnight everyone:) -Jessica

I honestly dont think there is a day that I dont think about you, Wondering what life would be with you here and not in heaven, A lot of people ask me how did you deal with losing your daughter or another one I get a lot is I don't know if I could live if something like that happened to me, the truth is life is going to go on with or without you.. Believe me I have my days and feel like I won't go on but then I remember life is life and you only get it once so you might as well take all trial and errors in life and learn from them. I do wish at times I had never gone through what I am going through but then I would never have met most of the best groups of women I have ever met. I plan on enjoying my weekend, going to the gym and spending much needed time with my husband :) thank you all for your kind words and support through are journey with ttc<3 ~Jessica~

Life has been very crazy the past 7 months i honestly could not tell you how i have functioned with out my sweet angel here with me, I remember the day so clearly, and every detail as well not that i want to forget but i do wish there was something some days to ease the pain a little, no one will ever understand what i am going through unless they have been through this themselves, its a pain like no other and a yearning for something that you simply can not have, even if your so close to the finish line, I never thought that i would have the strength to get through what i have gotten through with the help of this new group i found called SHARE PARENTS:D its been amazing, i have met so many wonderful people that i most likely would not have met, I now do not feel so alone, although there are times when i wake up in the middle of the night and feel like i am missing something and then i remember i am sure that feeling will ease with time as well as the pain, i still can not believe that